Everyone could use a good laugh now and then!
Redneck Logic
> Two Poor Boys from Georgia, Bubba and Jim Bob , are sitting at their favorite bar, drinking beer. Bubba turns to Jim Bob and says, "You know, I'm tired of going through life without an education. Tomorrow I think I'll go to the Community College, and sign up for some classes." Jim Bob thinks it's a good idea, and the two leave. The next day, Bubba goes down to the college and meets the Dean of Admissions, who signs him up for the four basic classes: Math, English, History, and Logic. "Logic?" Bubba says. "What's that?" The dean says, "I'll show you. Do you own a weed eater?" "Yeah." "Then logically speaking, because you own a weed eater, I think that you would have a yard." "That's true, I do have a yard." "I'm not done," the dean says. "Because you have a yard, I think logically that you would have a house." "Yes, I do have a house."
"And because you have a house, I think that you might logically have a family." "I have a family." "I'm not done yet. Because you have a family, then logically you must have a wife." "Yes, I do have a wife." "And because you have a wife, then logic tells me you must be a heterosexual." "I am a heterosexual. That's amazing, you were able to find out all of that because I have a weed eater." Excited to take the class now, Bubba shakes the Dean's hand and leaves to go meet Jim Bob at the bar. He tells Jim Bob about his classes, how he is signed up for Math, English, History, and Logic. "Logic?" Jim Bob says, "What's that?" Bubba says, "I'll show you. Do you have a weed eater?" "No." "Then you're a queer."
Dr. Smith
A flat-chested young lady went to Dr. Smith to see about enlarging her breasts. Dr. Smith told her, "Everyday after your shower, rub your nipples and say, "Scooby doobie doobies, I want bigger boobies." She did this faithfully for several months, lo and behold, it worked! She grew great boobs! One morning she was running late, got on the bus and realized she had forgotten her morning ritual. Frightened she might lose her lovely boobs if she didn't do the little rhyme, she got right out there in the middle aisle of the bus and said, "Scooby doobie doobies, I want bigger boobies." A guy sitting nearby asked, "Are you, by any chance, a patient of Dr. Smith's?" "Why, yes I am. How did you know?" she replied. He leaned closer, winked, smiled and whispered, "Hickory dickory dock!"
> Two Poor Boys from Georgia, Bubba and Jim Bob , are sitting at their favorite bar, drinking beer. Bubba turns to Jim Bob and says, "You know, I'm tired of going through life without an education. Tomorrow I think I'll go to the Community College, and sign up for some classes." Jim Bob thinks it's a good idea, and the two leave. The next day, Bubba goes down to the college and meets the Dean of Admissions, who signs him up for the four basic classes: Math, English, History, and Logic. "Logic?" Bubba says. "What's that?" The dean says, "I'll show you. Do you own a weed eater?" "Yeah." "Then logically speaking, because you own a weed eater, I think that you would have a yard." "That's true, I do have a yard." "I'm not done," the dean says. "Because you have a yard, I think logically that you would have a house." "Yes, I do have a house."
"And because you have a house, I think that you might logically have a family." "I have a family." "I'm not done yet. Because you have a family, then logically you must have a wife." "Yes, I do have a wife." "And because you have a wife, then logic tells me you must be a heterosexual." "I am a heterosexual. That's amazing, you were able to find out all of that because I have a weed eater." Excited to take the class now, Bubba shakes the Dean's hand and leaves to go meet Jim Bob at the bar. He tells Jim Bob about his classes, how he is signed up for Math, English, History, and Logic. "Logic?" Jim Bob says, "What's that?" Bubba says, "I'll show you. Do you have a weed eater?" "No." "Then you're a queer."
Dr. Smith
A flat-chested young lady went to Dr. Smith to see about enlarging her breasts. Dr. Smith told her, "Everyday after your shower, rub your nipples and say, "Scooby doobie doobies, I want bigger boobies." She did this faithfully for several months, lo and behold, it worked! She grew great boobs! One morning she was running late, got on the bus and realized she had forgotten her morning ritual. Frightened she might lose her lovely boobs if she didn't do the little rhyme, she got right out there in the middle aisle of the bus and said, "Scooby doobie doobies, I want bigger boobies." A guy sitting nearby asked, "Are you, by any chance, a patient of Dr. Smith's?" "Why, yes I am. How did you know?" she replied. He leaned closer, winked, smiled and whispered, "Hickory dickory dock!"
How many times have you ever needed this store!?!?!?!?!
posted by Doug at 11:16 AM
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